3 in a Relationship with Alcohol
Pam & Mike were “happily” married for twenty years. They enjoyed a lavish lifestyle and were deliberate to never let anything come between them. They chose to opt out of having children or pets so they were free to come and go as they please. They had a big nightlife consisting of concerts/sports events, dinners and traveling, all with a focus centered around alcohol.
The 3 in the relationship very clearly was Pam, Mike and alcohol. And when the alcohol started to be the problem, the marriage started to crumble. Mike’s tolerance for alcohol weakened and he would get intoxicated all the time. Pam was embarrassed by his drunken episodes and tried to control how much he drank. She became increasingly frustrated with his childish behavior. The fights between them escalated to eventually always being a battle with one another.
And so they started the bootcamp fighting like this:
Mike said, “Let me make it perfectly clear, I am not quitting drinking.”
Pam said, ‘If he doesn’t stop drinking I am done with the marriage.”
We said, “Help us God!”
Our first half of the initial session is dedicated to listening to the back story for each person. We quickly change direction to get each person to look at themselves. Pam, who spent most of her time focusing on Mike, gradually started letting go and discovered things about herself that made her happy. One passion was she followed the local politics. Mike, on the other hand, found he drifted away from playing tennis which he really enjoyed. He blamed the reason he couldn’t play was because of his chronic back pain. Both parties had lost the spiritual connection to God. Never really finding the time to go to church or pray.
As we transitioned through the bootcamp, Pam loosened her grip on Mike and started planning her future with things she enjoyed. Pam also put her name in to run for a seat on the township council and started volunteering within the community. Additionally, she starting going to a support group meeting for co-dependency. Mike started to look at some of his interest. He went to the doctor and had his first PT therapy to help strengthen his back so he could start playing tennis again. Mike agreed to go to counseling. They both agreed to find a church and start attending regularly.
They scheduled a call with us about 6 months later and we found out that Pam won the representative seat. Mike was sober and playing pickleball. They both found God again.
The are not getting a divorce. In fact they said they have a deeper connection than they ever did.
Thank you God for working through us.
“This program really works! Our quality of life has dramatically improved. We live a healthier life and learned giving back to the community is a blessing for us as much as the community. ”
