And baby makes 5!

Yes, it's true baby Bris number 3 is due in May of 2014.  If the way I have been feeling is any indication on this child's personality, then I am petrified! I have been anything but a joy to be around with the mood swings (I made a waitress cry when our food took too long).  I am constantly nauseous, yet I am starving all the time (weird combination).  I could fall asleep with the snap of my fingers, which makes it interesting when you have a 6 and 3 year old that need your constant attention.  I can't seem to manage anything, including keeping the house clean or getting through our heaps of laundry.  As I hit my 13 week mark, things are starting to improve a bit.  I am hoping its uphill from here on out. Which means that I should probably say sorry and thank you now to Tommy, Mason, and Ellie for being patient and loving towards me, even though I have not always been the same with you all!!

I do not know if I am the only one to feel this way but its different your third time around.  The first time I was nervous, and excited, just sort of oblivious to what is really about to happen and how my world was about to be changed forever.  The second time I was just so excited and I could not wait to see how Mason and his new sibling would interact together.  I have been so set with out little family that I am having a hard time picturing what life will be like with this next baby in the mix.  It will be harder, that's for sure, but just how much harder?  I only have two hands, the perfect amount to hold when crossing the street, how will I manage with three little hands that need their mommys protection?  I'm scared.  I'm scared for the challenges, I'm scared for the sickness, I'm scared for the heartache that our children tend to give us.

I have just been focusing on all that I have been scared of and living in somewhat of a dark cloud.  I was finally able to see a little light coming through the clouds after I heard the baby's heartbeat.  All of a sudden, an image of the baby being placed on my chest came into my head and it made me feel calmer.  It doesn't matter how hard it will be.  It is all worth it.  I cannot imagine my life without Mitch and Claire.  They are my favorite people in the planet.  They are apart of me and have made me who I am today.   I want this for Mason and Elizabeth.  There is nothing in the world like a sibling and I thank God that I am able bless them with another one.
I cannot wait to meet you baby Bris. I love you already!